Borowitz satire: Koch Brothers to put Scott Walker up for sale
By Eric Black | 09/02/15
In these dark days of the political humor shortage, with Jon Stewart retired and Stephen Colbert in the hiatus between the old show and the new (scheduled to premiere a week from yesterday) snide liberals thankfully still have Andy Borowitz to feed their hunger for satire.
Writing for the New Yorker, in yesterday's hot-off-the-presses made-up newsblast, Borowitz reveals that:
"Saying that 'things just didn’t work out,' the billionaire Koch brothers have decided to put Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker up for sale."
According to Borowitz, the Kochs haven't felt good about their Walker acquisition for a while, but Walker's recent suggestion of a fence on the Canadian border was the last straw. Borowitz quotes an unnamed Koch insider as saying that “Ignorance has always been a part of Scott’s appeal, but that Canada thing was just too much.”
Above is from: Borowitz satire: Koch Brothers to put Scott Walker up for sale | MinnPost
Other Borowitz articles:
LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker is steadily rising to the top of the 2016 Republican Presidential field because voters are connecting with his “strong and consistent opposition to knowledge,” an aide to Walker said on Thursday.
While Republican candidates of the past, such as Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann, have capitalized on G.O.P. voters’ hostility toward verifiable facts, the aide said, “Compared to Scott, those two look like rookies.”
Walker has burnished his anti-knowledge credentials in Wisconsin by proposing a three-hundred-million-dollar cut in the University of Wisconsin’s funding and by deleting the phrase “the search for truth” from the values outlined in the university’s mission statement.
“That truth thing was a masterstroke,” the aide said. “Our polling shows that voters who oppose knowledge also have negative feelings about truth.”
But Walker’s longstanding opposition to knowledge may have faced its toughest test during a visit to London, on Wednesday, when an interviewer asked him if he believed in evolution and he refused to answer. “He tried to trick Governor Walker into admitting that he knew something, and Scott didn’t take the bait,” the aide said. “I was watching him do that and I was like, ‘Nailed it.’ ”
Moments like that, the aide said, show why Walker will win the White House in 2016. “The American people are sick and tired of a President who knows things,” he said. “They’re ready for Scott.”
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